Fear has never struck me in the heart as is it has done now. There is nothing more terrifying than having your loved ones in a critical condition. I have never had to gone through it. I have seen friends who have gone through with it, though by the time I met them it was already past. Now I truly understand that pain they described firsthand. It's the most horrible experience that a human being can be put through.
I hate the fact that I can't go see her at the hospital. I hate the fact that she's all I can think about right now. I hate the fact that I wasn't a better daughter. I hate the fact that I'm so scared of the future. My only wish right now is for her to get better. I'll do anything just to have her return to the mother that I have always known growing up. I'll do anything to let my mother return to that nagging woman who constantly yelled at me. I'll do anything just to hear her voice again. I'm praying all that I can and can only hope praying will get through to her.
I just want to say, "I love you, Mommy."
